The day dawned warm. Mid-April, 1996. The ceremony was to
commence at High Noon, and Lauren was upstairs in the attic suite primping with her Best
Girl Tammy , her mother, and friend Cybelle. The Inn was setting up the buffet, complete
with decorations of saddles, horseshoes, cowboy boots, and, "anything rusty".
Guests were arriving, almost everyone in Western outfits, boots, hats, including the
photographer (light meter in holster).
The groom
arrived, with his groomsmen in frock coats, hats, and . . . single-action Colt
six-shooters lingering in holsters. After seeing the light meter in the holster, the
couple's gentle Unitarian Reverend suddenly realized what Lauren and Jim meant when they
said, "firing guns at the toast". They really meant that there
were going to be guns. Firing. Blanks, yes, but the reality of shiny metal firearms was a
distinct visibility now. In an impassioned request to the groom, the Reverand requested no
guns at the ceremony. With repect to the officiant (and fear that the ceremony would not
take place unless he listened), Jim and his Posse removed the irons into their buckboards
(cars) and slinked back to the ceremony site.
Seizing
the moment, they decided if they can't have guns then nobody would . . . . not as if there
were random guests just slinging sidearms, but . . . Jim's Posse began patting down the
guests for guns. Pistols. Firearms. Irons. While Lauren was spritzing on perfume and
putting on "big-girl" makeup, the Best Man Jonathan and the groomsmen were frisking
the honored guests. The ceremony was almost to begin.
Flanked by her
mother and father, Lauren walked down the aisle in 20-mile-per-hour wind. She looked like
a sail, but that was farthest on her mind. (Her father walking on her dress was #1). The
outdoor ceremony itself was performed facing the guests, quite unusual that the
loved ones were allowed to see the the couples' faces instead of their shoulder blades.
Lauren was in a state of constant hilarity from the jokes Jim was telling her up on the
platform; it's a wonder they got through the legal transaction part of the event.
In truth, Lauren having such a good time she actually forgot to repeat
back the Reverand's ceremonial words, and had to squeak out, "Oh, was that my
line?" when her time came to actually tie the knot. The final ceremony event came
when a black snake was spotted right next to the Best Man, uninvited but certainly
fitting right in to the spirit of the event.
